estimony: 38 years old, Doctor in Lombardy
Never in my darkest nightmares did I imagine that I would have seen and lived through what has been happening here in our hospital for the last three weeks. And the nightmare only grows; the river becomes bigger and bigger. At the beginning only a few arrived, then dozens, and then hundreds, and now we are no longer doctors, we have become mere sorters who decide who should live and who must be sent home to die, even if they are people who have paid Italian taxes for their whole life. Up until two weeks ago, my colleagues and I were atheists; this was normal because we are doctors and we have learned that science proves that God does not exist. I always laughed at my parents when they went to church.
Nine days ago, a 75-year-old pastor came to us for medical help. He was a kind man, he had grave respiratory problems, but he had a Bible with him and it impressed us that he was reading the Bible to the people who were dying and holding their hands.
We were all tired, discouraged doctors, psychologically and physically spent, and so we found that we were listening to him.
Now we must admit: as human beings we have reached our limits, there is nothing more we can do, and more people are dying every single day. And we are exhausted. Two of our colleagues have died and others are infected.
We realized that we have reached the limits of what man can do. We need God, and we have begun to ask for his help, when we have a few moments free. We speak among ourselves and we cannot believe that we who were fierce atheists are now seeking for interior peace by asking the Lord to help us to resist so that we can take care of the sick. Yesterday the 75-year old pastor died. Despite the fact that in the last three weeks we have had over 120 people die in our unit and we are all exhausted and feel destroyed, he succeeded, despite his own condition and our own difficulties, to bring us a PEACE that we no longer hoped to find.
The pastor went to the Lord, and soon we will follow him if things continue like this.
I have not been home for six days; I don’t know the last time I ate something; I realize my own worthlessness on this earth, and I want to dedicate my last breath to helping others. I am happy to return to God while I am surrounded by the suffering and death of my fellow men.”